Lucky #15

**Warning: Cliche/cheesy/deep New Years post alert**

So blogging, writing, sharing my feelings, sharing my heart, etc...all those things were lost for me in 2014. Honestly, 2014 was a tough year for me. The past 2 years in particular have been the hardest of my life probably. I thought 2013 was a doozy, but it was just a preview of what 2014 had in store for me.

Ya think you know who you are...and then WHOOSH...God throws a big ole' tidal wave of growth, maturity and truth over you. Fun times.

My 20s have been the most growing, stretching, and hardest years of my life. I’m 29 now, so this is my last year in the 20s. I know lot of people dread turning 30, but not me. Despite what that means to the child in me, the adult in me is leaping for joy! Because I KNOW what God has brought me out of. I know who He says I am. Who He is. I know the dreams He’s put in my heart, and honestly, it can only get better from here. I know there’s gonna be rough waters ahead. It’s life: that’s basically a given. But this year, in October of 2015, I will fully and whole-heartedly embrace my 30th birthday. Claiming it now: The 30s are gonna be the BEST years of my life!

But the 20s aren’t over, and I’m not trying to blaze outta them just yet. I have a lot yet left to do this last year of my 20s. I am determined to leave it with a bang, and really have some awesome memories and accomplishments to take from it.

Despite my reference to the hardships I’ve faced the past 2-10 years (haha), God has really shown me this last year, over and over, the incredible amount of blessings I have to be thankful for. For the first time in my life, I think I understand contentment. Not complacency: contentment. Big difference.

Where I was a year ago today, where I was a year before that, and who I am today? Wow. Totally different people. I still have a lot of the "old Keri” in me, but I’ve also had to let go of some big parts of what made me “that” Keri. Some people still don't understand that, and, some may never get the chance to understand it. Heck, I don't even always understand it. 

But that’s one of the key things to my life that I have found peace with finally: I am HUMAN. I don't always understand. I make mistakes. I don't get it all right the first time, or the second, and sometimes it takes me over 20 times to get something right! Haha. Not always. But sometimes. :)

But God really, really, REALLY doesn't expect perfection from me. Or expect me to win, succeed, understand, or GET it all the first try. He knew when He made me I was gonna mess up a LOT. And He was prepared for that. [I guess that’s why He wrote Romans 8:28, huh?] All He’s ever asked for from His children is that we TRY. And have FAITH. And when I fail? Get back up again and try again! Whoops, I messed up again?! GET BACK UP and try again! I screwed it up AGAIN?!! You get it. :) Keep. Getting. Back. Up. So simple. But our thick heads make it so complicated sometimes. 

[now go replace "me" or "I" with "you" and re-read] :)

We let fear entangle us. Paralyze us. We’re so scared of failing or making a mistake, that we end up missing out on some of the best experiences and sometimes best FAILURES of our lives. Can you even have an amazing failure?! Oh yeah. But that’s for another post. :)

The point is: You cant stop living and going after your dreams and purpose because of failures or set backs. You learn, you grow, you move on. It's definitely not as easy as I just wrote it... most of the time: not easy at ALL. But if you can get past your failures: you will be GREATLY rewarded. And blessed. I’m a living testimony of that.

So here’s to the failures and the successes in store for 2015! I’m pretty positive I’m gonna learn from both, and be a better person because of them.

And here’s to me blogging more frequently again. I have lot to say. And I think I’m ready to start sharing again. :)

*Side note: 15th blog ever written...and it’s 2015 now...coincidence? You decide. ;) Also, trying out a new title..."life in the grey"...that's what we're all working through, right? It's usually not black, or white. It's all the grey in between we gotta figure out. :)

Song of the day: Johnnyswim: Heart Beats

It's A Hard Knock Life...So Grab a Helmet ;)

I've kind of had writers block for a few weeks.

I was telling a friend the other day that when I was going through a period of all this stress and drama and I seemed to have a lot more "inspiration" for my blog...he said something on the lines of "Oh, so there's no more drama and everything's going good all the time now?" And I laughed and said something like "Better than it was...at least, different kinds of obstacles now."

[obstacles- get it?! ;)]

But I've realized something lately, and that is the state of mind I've taken on.

I've had a lot of "people" hurts the past year, and I let a lot of those hurts change me and change the way I loved, pursued and even talked to people. I had to learn a lot of personal boundaries this year, and in figuring out what this looks like, I feel like I've kind of gone the extreme opposite route.

I have let people in my life that, in hindsight, really haven't treated me that well. As a person. As a friend. As a woman. You name it. No one is perfect, and we all have our faults, but I've allowed myself to be a doormat in a lot of friendships. I wanted to "love them" through things, but in allowing certain behaviors and repeated actions, and by not having a lot of self-worth, I set myself up for a handful of unhealthy relationships.

But praise God, He has freed me from a lot of that worthlessness, and unhealthy relationships.

That's a whole other blog in itself. That being said, I let these "hard lessons" change me...and make me hard. I haven't lost my old self completely, but I sure have lost a lot of her. I don't know if people on the outside would be able to tell. Unless you were one of my close friends, and actually knew about my "heart", you probably couldn't tell. On the surface, I continued to love, pursue and connect with people. But it was more shallow, and on the inside everything had changed.

This personal-heart-funk I've been going through this year has run it's course though. At least that's what I've decided. It's still extremely hard to trust people, and I'm still figuring out what boundaries are necessary and what ones aren't—but that's OK.

Trusting, loving, learning- it's all a process. Life is one big, crazy process, and the older I've gotten, the less hard I am on myself. You cant be—or you wont survive—at least with much joy.

Grace has been one of the biggest themes of my life of 2013. Grace for others, big time; but also, a lot of grace for myself.

God's not mad at me for not having it all figured out, for not getting it right every time, for messing up. And He's not mad at you either. He's proud of us for every right decision we make, for every right thought we have, and proud of us for just trying—He doesn't expect perfection. Otherwise, what was the point of Jesus' life? We cant save ourselves. We cant figure it all out. He's our Redemption.

I was reading a blog by Ally Vesterfelt today actually, and it's like she was "reading my mail", haha. It's called Why I Would Rather Be Crazy Than Boring. Read it all, but here's a key excerpt:

"I’d rather be this girl, the girl who is committed to forgive, and love, and move, and act, and let go, push forward and believe even when it doesn't make sense to believe; even if it means being disappointed, even if it means being hurt, again and again.
I’d rather set audacious goals, than to set mediocre ones I know I can meet, or not set goals at all, to maintain my fragile ego. I know that girl too well, and I don’t want to be her anymore.
I’d rather swing for the fences.
I’d rather be crazy.
I’d rather risk my whole life for something that matters than to get to the end and realized I played it safe so I could drive a nice car and own a leather couch. I’d rather hold to things loosely, feeling grateful for gifts as they come, and giving them away as they are needed by others.
I’d rather give to much than too little."

So this is my goal: To not be scared of rejection, pain, hurt, failure. To learn how to love again with my whole heart. To let God continue to put back together the pieces of my heart that have been damaged. He's faithful to complete what He started, and I know He's already started this.

I got angry this week when I thought about some Christians I know who are really hard to be around. Those kind of people who you either love 'em or hate 'em. You're either on their good side or their bad side. You either can talk freely or you feel like you have to walk on eggshells.

Lord, may I not be the kind of person who people are uneasy or weary about being around. We all have our flaws, but to not know—on a daily basis—if you're going to get a hateful word, a mean joke, a nasty glare, or an ignoring attitude from someone—kinda unacceptable if you ask me. And definitely not Christ-like. There's grace for them too, but there's also responsibility for our actions.

I've been really impacted by this revelation of love, and the power of our words over the past few months.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." -Prov.18:21

Our words really do have power—use them for good—to encourage, honor, uplift, respect, & love.  Your words, jokes, texts, Facebook posts, all of it—they have the power to either encourage and honor someone, or discourage and dishonor them. We don't take enough responsibility sometimes for our words & actions.

Yeah, it really can be a "hard knock life", but you cant let the hardness of life turn your heart hard.

I don't know about you, but I just think life is way too short to be stingy and self-centered. It's a much more fulfilling life when you can freely love and give to others. Try it, if you're not already—it'll change your life. :)

Song of the Day:

"Hard Knock Life" from Annie, of course ;)

Cake Boss: "Becoming Love" edition

If you read my blogs often, you've seen a theme: Heartache. Testing. Refining.

I've been going through a lot the past few months.

But good news: this blog is a praise report, not a "trial report". Haha.

In my devotion today, it was referencing 2 Corinthians 11:30:

"If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness."

Ray Stedman said this about that verse:

"He boasts about the things that show his weakness. That is what we ought to be boasting about, the times when we did not look good, the times when we fell on our faces and failed. Paul says that is what he boasts about. He says, As I look back on my life, one incident comes to mind. It was a time when I was a complete failure at what I was trying to do. That is what I boast in, because that is when I began to learn the most important lesson of my life."

And I thought, "Yeah, that's kind of what I've been doing all these months." 

Not because I'm super spiritual, or super humble, or super awesome. But because it's all I had.

It sucks to learn things the hard way, but sometimes that's what it takes to actually get it.

I've been going through a few relational trials, lessons and heartaches the past few months, and one of them finally came to some much-needed-and-prayed-about reconciliation a few days ago.

I had been praying for months that God would just intervene...change this other person's heart. I prayed a long time for restoration and reconciliation. Then, I came to the place where I realized I had to "let go". And anyone that knows me well, knows that is almost impossible for me to do. 

I care about relationships, friendships, people. I'm not a fair-weather, wishy-washy, short-term kind of friend. I consider myself very loyal, faithful, caring and giving in my friendships. Luckily, I think most of my friends would agree with me on that.

So it sucks big time when crap happens and friends push you out of their life, and nothing you say, do, pray, etc, seems to change their heart.

So, even though I hate those corny, Christian sayings [haha] I literally had to "Let go, and let God."

I felt like God told me to let go of this friendship, along with a couple others that have been hurtful, unhealthy and un-reciprocating.

So, I stopped trying, pursuing, and I started to change my prayers. My prayers became more for this person as an individual, and less of God "fixing" my problem with them. I also had to start praying for myself more, and focusing on myself more. 

Because in the end, we literally have no control over someone else's actions, thoughts, words, etc. We only have control over our own.

I had to pray for God just to overflow my spirit with forgiveness, grace and love for this person, along with the others I've mentioned. All I can say is it's been one of the most draining, trying, stretching seasons of my life. 

To forgive someone who hasn't apologized to you. To love someone who has hurt you. To give grace to someone who seems to get it all the time, for the same stuff...THAT'S HARD.

But God gave it to me, and when I stopped focusing on "fixing" my problems, and just "letting God" do what He does, it happened...in His timing. I knew all God wanted me to do was love this person and walk in grace toward them, and when I did one small gesture doing so, the door opened for communication with them. And in the end, there was the peace and reconciliation my heart so desired.

I didn't have to have this reconciliation. But I really wanted it. And God knew that. He wires us the way we are for a reason, and I am wired for closure and communication. 

There was a lot of crap, and it's not like that relationship will ever be perfect. And I still have some other friendships that may not be reconciled, though this one was. But what I came to realize throughout all of this is that: 

It's OK.

God is SO much bigger than my problems, my hurts, my insecurities, my downfalls. He is a Healer, a Restorer, a Giver, and a Friend. And He was all those things to me, and MORE, throughout all this crap I've gone through. And He'll continue to be there for all the crap that I know is around the corner. Because, that's life. There's struggles. There's hurts. But He's there. And He is extremely good.

One negative thing I let this lost friendship do to me was consume me. I can have an obsessive personality, and I am very sensitive. I'm not going to apologize for either, because I know I had to go through this the way I did to understand myself, and God, as much as I do now. And I also know God made me the way I am for a reason. 

I care about people. I care about relationships. I care about feelings. I care about communication. I just...care. 

I guess that's why Daddy always called me "Care Bear"...haha, not just because it's a common nickname for Keri...but also, since a young age, I was super sensitive to other people and for other people...it's just who I is! ;)

Love-a-lot Bear ;)

I once read that for relationships that are important to us, we have to "risk vulnerability to the point of possible rejection"...that has been the story of my life. I put myself out there for people. I know they're worth it, and I know that even if they reject me, it was worth it to show them they were worth it.

All this relational drama really made me feel a lot of failure and a lot of worthlessness. I blamed myself for a lot. "I should have done this, shouldn't have done that," etc, etc... And, FYI, that kind of talking to yourself will get you nowhere. 

I saw this quote the other day, and it really resonated with me. 

"I don't call it failure. I call it learning. See, I want to learn about me. And then I celebrate progress, not perfection." -Steve Blacklund

I'll leave you with this video of a powerful message I heard. It really was the icing on this big/hard/ugly/crazy/beautiful LOVE cake God had been baking for me...haha. I was thinking He's kinda like the Cake Boss...He whips up crazy wonders we could never have imagined up ourselves :)

[if God made me a cake, it would look like this...but bigger] ;)

Find the time to watch this video. If not today, another day. It challenged my whole way of thinking and loving people, and although I knew a lot of it already, I didn't really grasp it. Until now :)

Video of the Day:

Dan Mohler- Becoming Love

Going Raw: More Than a 30-day Challenge

Today is the first day of a 30-day Raw Challenge I'm doing with two of my friends. Just had lunch: so far so good, haha. For those of you who don't know what that entails me eating, here's a lovely food pyramid of the only stuff I'm allowed to eat:

I know it will be a challenge, but considering how disciplined I've been in my diet the past 3-4 months [having already lost 50 lbs] I'm only cutting out a few more things now to go "raw"... I'm ready for the challenge, so I'm all in!

As I was thinking about "going raw" for 30 days I started thinking about how I've been "going raw" spiritually the past few months too—but it definitely wasn't my idea—and it's been going on way longer than 30 days.

I have been in this grueling, painful, "raw" process all summer. God has been revealing a lot of stuff to me for months, but I wasn't fully grasping or listening. I was weak. I didn't know how to value myself, or honor what God has created me for.

It took some very painful experiences to actually get to a place of being "raw" with Jesus, and letting Him do what He really wants to do in my heart and life.

What do I mean by "raw"? Well let's start with some definitions:

raw  [raw]  
1.uncooked, as articles of food: a raw carrot. 
2.not having undergone processes of preparing, dressing, finishing, refining, or manufacture: raw cotton. 
3.unnaturally or painfully exposed, as flesh, by removal of the skin or natural integument. 
4.painfully open, as a sore or wound. 
5.ignorant, inexperienced, or untrained: a raw recruit. 
6.brutally or grossly frank: a raw portrayal of human passions.

There were a lot more definitions. But I really relate to words like "unnaturally or painfully exposed",  "painfully open", and "ignorant, inexperienced, or untrained"... The stuff I've had to go through personally is excruciating and hard. I feel like I've lost parts of myself, and of my heart, and I have to pray daily that God will completely restore it. Being somewhat "ignorant, inexperienced, and untrained" is also what led me to a lot of this "rawness" I've been experiencing.

But I believe that what Paul talks about happening to himself in 2 Corinthians 12 is what a lot of us will walk through, have walked through, or are currently walking through in some shape or form:

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I'm not sure exactly what this "thorn" was [or "handicap" as other translations refer to it] but it's a reminder of how God will allow things, circumstances, trials, etc, to come into our life—so that when these storms of life come against us, we can lean on Jesus—because He is strong. His grace is enough.

Too often we lean not on Him, but on OURSELVES and OTHERS to get through pain and hardships. And that's not how it works.

God has had to strip me down to the raw, nitty-gritty. I'm nowhere near the same person I was a year ago, or even 6 months ago, and I don't ever want to go back. My life, my mentality, my concerns—they might have been much more "safe" and carefree back then...but it was getting me nowhere and I was being deceived—not only by people, but by myself.

Ignorance may be bliss, but I know that the lessons I am learning and the things I am walking through are all a part of a greater purpose—a greater story. And God is the BEST Author and Storyteller.

This story may have a WHOLE lotta conflict and pain in it, but I know the climax and resolution are gonna be amazing—and worth the trials and pain.

I'm still feeling "raw". I'm still learning, struggling, hurting. I forget that He is enough. That He says I am worthy. That there is more. That He is good. I forget sometimes. But then I press in.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 3:12-14

I was reading a devotional by Christina Caine and I really loved the correlation she made between physical and spiritual health. Here's an excerpt:

"I believe that as Christians we all possess a sincere desire to love God with all our hearts, yet we often unknowingly allow little things to build up inside of us. Slowly, these small subtle obstructions form very large blockages, which over a period of time clog our spiritual arteries and harden our hearts by depriving them of access to their life source. We must do whatever it takes to ensure that these have no place in our lives as followers of Jesus."

My advice: live a RAW life.

[not the WWE kind- I just like the pic] ;)

Let God strip away all the lies, all the dirt, all the grime—even if it's "painfully open" or "painfully exposed"—it'll be worth it in the end. Because raw is real—and why be anything but that?

Song of the Day:

Katy Perry- Roar

[my anthem of the moment] :)

Conflict: The True Story

This week I have been reading a lot on the subject of conflict.

God has purposefully dropped some huge lessons in my lap this week that I came upon without even Googling them, haha. They came at a very needed time. After the impact they have had on my perspective and spirit this week, how could I not share?

If you've read any of my other blogs, I have been admittedly in one of the hardest seasons of my life. And this subject of "conflict" is a theme in my life, especially the last few months. I have been extremely worn down, brokenhearted, weary, depressed—you name it—because of a couple different "conflicts" in my life. I'm one of those people that over-analyzes everything, thinks way too much, and well, I work in an office, so I have a lot of time to "dwell" and think about things [especially when they're going wrong].

Despite these things I struggle with, I know God has made me who I am. He knew I was gonna be an over-analyzer. He knew I was gonna be a very sensitive person. He knew I was gonna think a lot, care a lot, try to "fix" things a lot. Crazy enough, He actually uses some of these characteristics for His GLORY—despite the times I get in the way and take things to a level I shouldn't. Funny how He works like that.

I read a blog everyday by one of my favorite writers/authors, Donald Miller. He's awesome. Check him out. I was reading a free chapter online from his book "Storyline: Finding Your Subplot in God's Story", and guess what the subject of the only free chapter was about?! Yep: conflict!

He talks about conflict [trials, tribulations, suffering, struggles, controversy, quarrels] and quotes:

"Suffering ceases to be suffering when we understand it from a redemptive perspective." -Viktor Frankl 

A "redemptive perspective"—Yes. Exactly. God has been showing me this a lot lately. That's the mindset we need. Because whatever kind of "conflict" you're going through: you've lost a loved one, you've broken up with a gf/bf, you and your best friend are fighting, you've been raped, used, abused, mistreated, gossiped about, the list could go on and on—those "sufferings" don't have to define you. Change your perspective on your situation and God will redeem that situation and turn it all around. For GOOD.

Donald loves to use analogies like you're life is a story, or a movie. I love it. He says in any good story there has to be conflict. And while conflict can be difficult, painful, awful: most conflict will make us better in the end. For the whole, amazing chapter if you want to read it: click here. If not, here's the Cliffs Notes version ;)

Conflict is the only way a person changes: You cant change if you are content—being put under pressure is what will change you—We feel joy when we've conquered our conflict.

Conflict lends value to that which we attain: The pain of the journey makes us appreciate the beauty of the reward at the end—You wont value anything you didn't have to fight for!

Some conflict is intended by God: Donald talked about how Adam longed for something, but instead of giving him Eve right away, God made him name the animals—which he pointed out could have taken Adam anywhere from 10-100 yrs! Never thought about how long he "waited" for the "longings of his heart" (Eve, in this case). Conflict can build our character and have us appreciate His provision.

God can redeem ALL conflict: He wants us to display courage and hope in the midst of challenges. He'll use ALL things for good—We just have to give it up to Him, and let Him do what He does!

God call us into conflict:  He calls us into a life of meaning, not "comfort"... Jesus asks us to take up our cross and follow Him (Luke 9:23) —that's conflict. He actually told us there would be trials and tribulations (John 16:33). He never promised it would be easy—just worth it.

Conflict is resistance: The Bible talks about "fighting the good fight" and "running the race set before us".... Steven Pressfield says:

"When something beautiful is trying to come into the world it will face an equal and opposite resistance."  

So, if you consider yourself one of His—then you better believe what you have to offer this world is beautiful. So be assured: you're gonna face conflict, resistance, hurdles, trials, confusion—all of it—trying to bring your gift into this world and keep it there. But it's so worth it.

Living great stories means entering into a world of risk and fear. Did you know that it says "Do not fear" in the Bible, over 200 times??—we weren't designed to play it safe—we were designed for adventure! Your life was made for adventure. And so was mine.

Moral of the story: Conflict: Face it, redeem it, conquer it, & allow it to mold your character.

James said it best:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1:2-4

God is with you, through whatever conflict you may be going through right now. He's there. Call on His name. He's the only source of hope and peace that wont disappoint during hard times. I have to remind myself of this truth daily—but it will get better. It's true for me, and true for you too.

As my college ministry pastor Mario always said:
"God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good." :)

Song of the Day:

Misty Edwards- Turn it all around

First.blog.ever. Here I go!

I'm not really sure my "direction" for my blog yet, but we'll start with just whats on my mind and what's going on in my life at the moment! Sound good? :)

So let's start with my "username" for the blog: ekballor. I wanted it to be "ekballo" --a Greek word I've been reading about-- no "r", but that was taken. So I figured, since I am a "baller", I should make it "ekballor"...it just made sense ;)

I read about this Greek word "ekballo" on this guys blog I've been reading. His name is Randy Bohlender (http://randybohlender.com/blog/) and I'm reading his book "Jesus Killed My Church"--highly recommended.

Anyways, he was talking about this word. Here's the rundown:

A few definitions for ekballo:
a great thrusting or casting out, sending. 
to draw out, extract, one thing inserted in another.
to bring out of, to draw or bring forth. 
to lead one forth or away somewhere with a force which he cannot resist

The word is used in a few very different contexts in the Bible.
-When Jesus went to the desert for the season of testing, it said He was a driven – or ekballo‘d – man. (Mark 1)
-When casting out demons, Jesus proposed that they must be "driven out" – ekballo. (Mark 1, 3, 5,6,7,9)
-He also used ekballo when telling us to pray that laborers be sent forth into the harvest. (Heb. 11) He pointed out how people are sometimes "sent forth" with the same sort of violent thrust that was used to cast demons out of people! Crazy.

Randy's point:
"We all anticipate that an ekballo moment would be difficult for demons. What makes us think it would be comfortable for us? Sometimes, we’re pretty "entrenched" ourselves. The tearing and shoving that it takes for us to move out of our comfort zone is painful."

"Too many have struggled to stay where they are when they encountered their ekballo moment because they could not conceive of something being at once God’s will and painful."

Why am I retelling what I read on someone else's blog? Because it encouraged me, opened my eyes, and made me realize this is my "ekballo" season.

God has been doing so many things in my heart and life the past 4 years since graduating college. I have often gotten discouraged, wondering "why am I here?", "what am I doing with my life?", "why am I going through this?" but I've come to a peace with God's timing. And more importantly: His promises. This past year He has "thrust" me into situation after situation, "cast out of me, drawn out, extracted" fear after fear, lie after lie, and I've never felt so determined and challenged in my whole life.

The biggest fear I overcame happened only a few weeks ago, with my boarding a plane for the 1st time in 27 years. I was terrified of flying- the mere thought brought me great anxiety and fear. But I knew it had to be conquered and was holding me back in life. It's probably gonna always be one of the biggest fears I've ever had to overcome.

Anyways, long story short: I'm not scared anymore. I do have other things-as-of-yet-to-be-conquered, but alot of these other things are in the works, and im crossing off goal after goal. I truly believe this is my "ekballo" year, and I am so excited for what else God is gonna bring forth [ekballo!] in and out of me.

My heart is open and ready, and He can "ekballo" me wherever He wants, however He wants!

Thanks for reading my first blog. More to come :)

Quote of the day: 

"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are." -Max Depree

Song of the day: