Thursday, January 1, 2015

Lucky #15

**Warning: Cliche/cheesy/deep New Years post alert**

So blogging, writing, sharing my feelings, sharing my heart, etc...all those things were lost for me in 2014. Honestly, 2014 was a tough year for me. The past 2 years in particular have been the hardest of my life probably. I thought 2013 was a doozy, but it was just a preview of what 2014 had in store for me.

Ya think you know who you are...and then WHOOSH...God throws a big ole' tidal wave of growth, maturity and truth over you. Fun times.


My 20s have been the most growing, stretching, and hardest years of my life. I’m 29 now, so this is my last year in the 20s. I know lot of people dread turning 30, but not me. Despite what that means to the child in me, the adult in me is leaping for joy! Because I KNOW what God has brought me out of. I know who He says I am. Who He is. I know the dreams He’s put in my heart, and honestly, it can only get better from here. I know there’s gonna be rough waters ahead. It’s life: that’s basically a given. But this year, in October of 2015, I will fully and whole-heartedly embrace my 30th birthday. Claiming it now: The 30s are gonna be the BEST years of my life!

But the 20s aren’t over, and I’m not trying to blaze outta them just yet. I have a lot yet left to do this last year of my 20s. I am determined to leave it with a bang, and really have some awesome memories and accomplishments to take from it.

Despite my reference to the hardships I’ve faced the past 2-10 years (haha), God has really shown me this last year, over and over, the incredible amount of blessings I have to be thankful for. For the first time in my life, I think I understand contentment. Not complacency: contentment. Big difference.

Where I was a year ago today, where I was a year before that, and who I am today? Wow. Totally different people. I still have a lot of the "old Keri” in me, but I’ve also had to let go of some big parts of what made me “that” Keri. Some people still don't understand that, and, some may never get the chance to understand it. Heck, I don't even always understand it. 

But that’s one of the key things to my life that I have found peace with finally: I am HUMAN. I don't always understand. I make mistakes. I don't get it all right the first time, or the second, and sometimes it takes me over 20 times to get something right! Haha. Not always. But sometimes. :)

But God really, really, REALLY doesn't expect perfection from me. Or expect me to win, succeed, understand, or GET it all the first try. He knew when He made me I was gonna mess up a LOT. And He was prepared for that. [I guess that’s why He wrote Romans 8:28, huh?] All He’s ever asked for from His children is that we TRY. And have FAITH. And when I fail? Get back up again and try again! Whoops, I messed up again?! GET BACK UP and try again! I screwed it up AGAIN?!! You get it. :) Keep. Getting. Back. Up. So simple. But our thick heads make it so complicated sometimes. 
[now go replace "me" or "I" with "you" and re-read] :)

We let fear entangle us. Paralyze us. We’re so scared of failing or making a mistake, that we end up missing out on some of the best experiences and sometimes best FAILURES of our lives. Can you even have an amazing failure?! Oh yeah. But that’s for another post. :)

The point is: You cant stop living and going after your dreams and purpose because of failures or set backs. You learn, you grow, you move on. It's definitely not as easy as I just wrote it... most of the time: not easy at ALL. But if you can get past your failures: you will be GREATLY rewarded. And blessed. I’m a living testimony of that.


So here’s to the failures and the successes in store for 2015! I’m pretty positive I’m gonna learn from both, and be a better person because of them.

And here’s to me blogging more frequently again. I have lot to say. And I think I’m ready to start sharing again. :)

*Side note: 15th blog ever written...and it’s 2015 now...coincidence? You decide. ;) Also, trying out a new title..."life in the grey"...that's what we're all working through, right? It's usually not black, or white. It's all the grey in between we gotta figure out. :)

Song of the day: Johnnyswim: Heart Beats