Was That Bells I Heard? Cause I Just Got Schooled!

I was thinking today how I got SCHOOLED. Big time. 

By who? Who else...The Man!

God has been schooling me a lot lately.

I loved learning growing up. I loved knowledge, friends, school activities. I loved all the social and informational aspects of school...but I cant say I really loved school itself.

Growing up, especially in high school, my school days were showered with tons of absences, or tardees, haha. I hated waking up. So, I didn't normally, unless my mom made me. Haha.

Also in high school, I would make "cheat sheets" just to make sure I passed tests... I wanted to do other things besides studying [you know, get on AOL instant messenger and chat with my friends who I saw all day at school...or watch Boy Meets World or TRL...important stuff ;)] Even if I knew the material, I thought: "Better safe than sorry!"... FYI kids, I was .10 of a point away from being an honor grad, actually having my GPA count and getting Bright Futures... see where cheating gets you? In debt. For college. Because you didn't study and get scholarships. Haha.

But God sometimes does a different kind of "schooling"... His isn't always in your face.

I have found time and time again it's learned by hit and miss. Trial and error. Learning as you go. He doesn't force learning on you, it just happens.

The biggest thing I've been "schooled" in lately is not only how His love looks like for me, but how His love looks like for others.

To love like Jesus. I don't think most of us can truly wrap our head around what that really looks like, lived out.

We try our best. Usually. At least until it becomes inconvenient...or someone annoys us too much... or hurts us too bad...or screws us over too much... then, Deuces! They're out.

My friend Sam knows I've been having a hard time liking some people lately, so she sent me an excerpt from this book she's reading. It said:

"You might think, "I'll forgive the person who hurt me, but he doesn't deserve my friendship, so that's where I draw the line." Or you might force the words. "I forgive you" out of your mouth but resist actually granting them from the heart. But "to forgive is to give people more than their due"; it is a gift from the heart. (Matt.18:35)

I've written about forgiveness before. Not only is forgiveness a process, but it's something that takes actual effort. It takes actual sacrifice. It takes work. It takes love.

I was reading an email from Donald Miller, and in it he said:

"I don’t have the responsibility to change any of the adults around me. They have control over their lives and I have control over mine. That's ordained by God and any other dynamic quickly becomes toxic. I can inspire people or encourage them or even rebuke them but it’s not my responsibility to change them. What if, instead, people have been given to us by God for ours and their enjoyment. There are, of course, unsafe people, but I’m talking about those people we trust, friends and trusted family members. I want to start replacing my “fix” response with an “enjoy” response and just let people be themselves."

This theme has really been meaningful in my life lately.

One of my favorite authors, Danny Silk, said it like this:

"Building a connection is all about your approach to the other person, it is not about you creating change in the other person."

It's not our job to change someone. That's God's job. Christians get this wrong way too often.

There's people chanting in the streets, on the corner, with signs, banners, words... and most the time, it's not out of love... it's out of judgement...or out of a desire to change people, and make them "think like you"...

Since when do people who don't call themselves Christians actually think like Christians? Isn't it the Holy Spirit's job to do the convicting? The changing? Our job is to love like Jesus. Period. 

Like Donald pointed out, yes, we can "inspire people or encourage them or even rebuke them" [in love] —not change. There's a difference.

I was reading a blog written by Sarah Thebarge, titled "Why Drive-By Charity is Ruining Your View of God", in it she said:

"Loving the world this way isn't cheap — it comes at a high personal cost — but it’s simple...It just requires us to be present where we are.

If each of us took the time to know and unconditionally love the people living next door to us…

If we didn't run away from the brokenness but lived in it…

If we didn't try to protect ourselves from the messiness but embraced it…

And if everyone we came in contact with did the same…

…well, that kind of thing could change the world."

I was really challenged reading that. Now living it: that's the real challenge. 

I get worn out with love often. It seems more times than not, it isn't always reciprocated—at least in the way I expect or think it should be.

But loving people, the way Jesus does, "it comes at a high personal cost"—Yes. The cost being: Your pride. Your self-righteousness. Your time.

I've been guilty plenty of times thinking and saying "Uhh, I'm not Jesus, I just cant do it that way, or that perfect..." Yes, we will never be perfect...but if we truly practiced loving people this way...the way He does...then "practice" would definitely help to "make perfect."

As Heidi Baker always says about people: "Love Them to Life."

Think about it. I sure have been.

Was that bells I heard? 'Cause, now, you just got schooled! ;)

;)

Song of the Day:

Sidewalk Prophets- "Live Like That"

The "F" word...

No, not that "F word"... did I fool ya? ;) haha. If only I could write a blog on that...it'd probably be a much easier subject than this "F word":  Forgiveness.

for·give  [fer-giv]
1. To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
2. To renounce anger or resentment against.
3. To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).

I've always thought of myself as a very forgiving person. I hate to have bad blood between me and anyone...I try and give people the benefit of the doubt...I try and see the good in all people...I love to "fix" things...I love to "communicate"...and I love having people like me! Haha, who doesn't?

But lately I have really been tested in this area. Forgiveness, grace, mercy, compassion—all of it goes hand-in-hand. So I just wanted to talk about my experience with this, in hopes that maybe it will encourage someone reading this, who might be going through something similar or will in the future.

The past 2 months have probably been the hardest months of my life. To sum it up without being too exposing: 

-My entire immediate family moving out to Wyoming [parents, older sis, bro-in-law, and their 5 kids].
-My little sister and her husband are moving to Thailand in a few months for who knows how long.
-If that wasn't hard enough, a couple close friends have hurt me deeply and have disappeared from my life. 

Needless to say, I feel pretty lonely and abandoned here in big, ole' Florida. At the time when I need friends the most, a handful of the ones closest to me seem to be nowhere in sight. And that's hard.

If these "changes" were one at a time, I'm sure it'd be easier...but all these things happened all at once, and I'm struggling. It's like that fun, lil' quote goes: "When it rains, it pours."

The hardest kind of forgiveness is the kind where someone wrongs you, but they don't apologize or try and right the wrong...so you have to forgive them without ever feeling "justified" or "reconciled" or anything... You just have to let go... That's the hardest kind, and that's the kind I'm going through lately.

Luckily, my stubbornness comes in handy here—because I've decided that I wont let anyone have control like that over me. That's what happens to you if you cant forgive someone and move on—you give them a power over you—a control. I saw this quote a long time ago and always liked it:

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes

So, I have been in this process of forgiveness. That's what forgiveness really is: a process. Someone hurts you, you forgive them, and even though you may truly forgiven them right then, the pain/hurt/offense is sure to pop up again...the enemy is sneaky like that. Sometimes it's the next day, week, or it might not pop up until years later—but you have to continually choose to forgive—and show those people grace and mercy, even when they don't deserve it.

This isnt the end of the story for me. There's always going to be some offense that will pop up, in need of forgiveness—it's just up to us whether we decide to pick up that offense and carry it around on our backs—letting it drag us down. It's a hard, but worthwhile process. It's like I told a close friend in an email recently:

"I have good days and bad days. A lot of lonely days, but God will/is sustaining me. He's a good Dad, and I just gotta put my faith in Him when man/"friends" fail... I feel stronger week by week...I'm easily consumed by my problems though...but I'm laying these things down continually to Him and trying not to focus on whats going WRONG, cuz there's still good stuff going right too :) God knows what I need when I need it...thats what I tell myself. He's in control :)"

God has been showing me a lot about grace and forgiveness. I know I don't "deserve" the grace and forgiveness I've been given...that's for darn sure...so who am I to withhold it from someone else?

I've been looking at this quote daily to remind myself of the right mindset to have:

“A warrior mindset is always focused on victory. It allows no possibility of defeat. It does not retreat. It stands under extreme pressure. It advances by God’s permission. The Lord has a language of intimidation; it’s called worship. Your intimacy intimidates the enemy. Never forget that he is afraid of rejoicing hearts. He cannot stay in the presence of real praise.” -Graham Cooke

Victory- yes! I wont give up on love- or people. It's all about renewing your mind and your thought life. We have to change our perspectives on our situations, change unhealthy thought-patterns and habits that get us back in the same situations over and over, and choose to walk in the truth daily! [props to Mr. Davis for that reminder last Sunday :)]. Block out the lies that say "well, if so-n-so used me, everyone is gonna use me"..."if so-n-so hurt my trust, I cant trust anyone"...those are lies, and you cant let your past define your future. 

There's a quote I saw from one of my favorite authors, Danny Silk. He has a book called "Keep Your Love On" that I haven't read yet, but he quotes on Facebook all the time. The other day he said:

"Turning your love back on after it has been off is even more powerful then turning it on the first time. Turning your love back on after the experience of pain means that your choice to love one another can not be conditioned by what the other person does or dose not do. KYLO!!!" -Danny Silk

That goes hand-in-hand with what the Bible says [more references: Matt. 6:14-15, Matt. 18:21-22]:

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." -Ephesians 4:32

So simple, but so powerful. "Keep Your Love On", people. And forgive. Over and over. With no expectations. Your spirit will thank you, and eventually, those people you forgive might even thank you too :)

Song of the Day: 

Oceans (Where feet may fail)- Hillsong United :)